Safe Keeping

The Buddha said “Be a lamp for yourselves. Be your own refuge. Seek for no other…” I have always been under the illusion that others – my family, a relationship, money – will take care of me and cause me to feel safe. But I have found that nothing – not someone or something else, has led me to unending safety. Maybe the thing loses its power over me or I’m in a situation where the person isn’t available. So I must provide this safety for myself. Especially because I am with me all the time. I need to take the energy I expend in being concerned for others, and give myself some of it.

How do I provide my own safety in a way that is loving to myself but not closing me off from others?

Here are some strategies that I think help me in this process:

- Finding my inner voice and believing it – practice tuning into my internal experience through meditation and mindfulness has helped me pay attention to gut feelings and physical manifestations of anxiety

- Helping others – doing esteemable acts builds self-esteem, this makes me feel useful and takes me away from obsessing about myself

- Pausing – giving time to let urges pass and consider the negative impact of the potential actions, keeps me from doing things that are bad for me

- Showing up for myself – when I say I’m going to do something that is good for me, do what I say I’m going to do, this practice increases my trust in myself and abilities

- Cultivating good thoughts and non-harmful language – Do this by practicing loving kindness meditation and being considerate about how I am talking about myself

- Surrounding myself with people I trust and those who make me feel good

- Journaling – or just writing about my introspective discoveries. This blog is my journal and writing it has helped me walk my talk more often.

- Taking time to be part of the things I love – playing music, practicing yoga, being with friends and family

- Not giving away energy that I need to save – through money, through relationships that don’t work, through time

- Being open to taking healthy risks – think in terms of meeting new people, trying various activities.

- Giving myself time away from my phone – I’ll admit, I rely too much on the phone, for company when I’m lonely or scared. Use it as a diversion when I don’t want to think about something uncomfortable. Being away from the phone reminds me, I’m okay without it and okay in myself.

The second part of my exploration, not being shut down, I think I do well and maybe to an extreme. I might even allow myself to be too exposed. So for the meantime and for what is the beginning of this investigation of behaviors, I will remain curious and aware of when I might be making things less safe for myself and see where this process leads.

Thank you for reading this and if you have any relate thoughts or experiences feel free to share with me.

Be well,

Marcie